How to Have the Christmas you Really Want

How to Have the Christmas you Really Want

by | Nov 12, 2016 | Real Life. Real Thoughts., Tools for Awesome Living

I’ve been meaning to write this post for a long time, but things kept taking me away. However, as Christmas approaches and I see people looking panicked in the stores, and speaking to friends who are getting overwhelmed already, I realized how timely this post would be.

Oh how I want us all to enjoy this beautiful season together.

Take a deep breath.  Christmas is supposed to be filled with joy and happiness,  yet often it ends up being stressful, overwhelming and tiring. Feeling like you need to do it all, please everyone and measure up to Pinterest at the same time lend themselves to a Holiday filled with busy but not enjoyment. In fact,  a recent study showed that 45% of Americans dread the Holiday Season (that just makes me sad!). So instead of drudging through it, let’s work on changing it to be something to look forward to and enjoy.

I suggest you grab a cup of tea, a pen, paper and a calendar.

The first thing I want you to do is FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU WANT. What do you want your Christmas to look like? 

If you close your eyes, in the quiet, and dream about exactly what your ideal Christmas would look like. If ANYTHING was possible, if you were able to make it exactly what you want , what would it look like? What would it smell like? Who would be with you? Where would you be? How would you FEEL? Any thoughts of people’s expectations or the way things have been in the past, acknowledge those and let them go. Bring yourself back to thinking about your dream Christmas would look like.

Don’t have a picture yet? Try again. Set a timer, take deep breaths, and then try again.

Now write it down. Write down all the details you can think of. Focus on all the senses. What does it feel like? What do you smell? What do you see.

It may seem silly, but this stuff can really work! I put together a little mindfulness activity voice recording that may help you to visualise. It’s my first one but hopefully you like it!

Take five minutes and write down every single detail you can. Make it as clear and vivid as possible.

Now take a look at the notes you made. Does it all seem unachievable? Impossible? Or does it see more simple than you thought?

Remember, this is YOUR life. You can make the choices. Just because things have always been done a certain way, doesn’t mean that they always have to go that way. I know sometimes that is easier said than done.  Often asking action seems more difficult than just letting things be, but the payoff is great.

Here’s some questions to answer while you have that beautiful ideal picture in your mind.

  1. What are things that you can eliminate out of your normal Christmas hustle ? Things that you feel you SHOULD do but don’t go towards your ideal Christmas.
  2. What things can you do NOW to help you relax as the Holiday’s approach? Can you start wrapping now? Finish your shopping? Start baking and put it in the freezer?
  3. How much of your vision was related to STUFF? Like what was IN presents? Did it matter to you what was opened? What financial value gifts had? My guess is that it didn’t even come up. If it did, that’s cool. If it didn’t, then stop worrying about spending more money on more stuff. Focus on EXPERIENCES, on Time with the people you love. 

4. Print off a calendar, or take yours out and get a couple of pens. Block off some time. Some time for you. Some time to keep you grounded. A date night amidst the busy. A play date with your friends. If you love being social, schedule a movie and wrapping date with a friend. If you love quiet time, block off an evening for a long bath and book reading.

5. While you have the calendar out, add in the events that you want to take part in. The ones that line up with what you want your Christmas to look like. You don’t HAVE to do everything. You can decide. It’s not up to you to make everyone else happy, but to take care of yourself and your kids if you have them. Showing your children that you value your time, and their time is a gift!

Some examples of things that we have already added to our calendar are : hosting a Christmas brunch (One of my favorite things to do! Entertaining is stress relief for me) Going to the Christmas tree lighting and the Parade of lights. Taking a drive to look at Christmas lights together. Going shopping for gifts for underprivileged children. These things line up with my ideal Christmas. Spending time with my family. Watching my kids light up with excitement. Teaching them about giving. Your things may not be the same as mine, but they are valuable to you, so make time for them.

 

  1. It can be amazing how much GIVING can add to our lives. So in what ways can you GIVE BACK this year? A donation? Volunteering a couple of hours? Dropping groceries off to a friend you know loves to bake but doesn’t have the $ to do so? Random acts of kindness? I haven’t mapped mine out yet. But this post is a great reminder that I need to!
  2. What did you enjoy MOST about last year’s Christmas season? Can you pinpoint why you enjoyed it so much? Can you do more of that this year?
  3. What did you dislike most about last year’s Christmas season? Is it something that you can avoid or plan around to make more enjoyable?
  4. Have you set a Christmas budget? On average people who are already in debt add almost $1000 in debt at Christmas, and most people are still paying off Christmas gifts in August. The stress that comes along with it, just not fun stuff. Talk with your partner, or family, make a plan together that you can stick to.

10. Don’t worry. Literally. It’s not going to change anything. You may not be able to make this Christmas “perfect” but a lot of the beauty is in the imperfections! But carry your notes with you or take a look at them anytime that you feel overwhelmed as Christmas approaches. 

If you have any suggestions on how to make the season better, I would love to hear them! I hope that you all have an amazing Christmas season full of joy and love and all the happy things! 

I’m Fat AND I Matter

I’m Fat AND I Matter

by | Oct 28, 2016 | Real Life. Real Thoughts., Tools for Awesome Living

I matter. You matter. It’s a hard concept for many of us to hold onto.

I went to therapy today. And if you’ve never been, I would be in a huge “don’t knock it till you try it” boat here. Honestly it has been a huge game changer! My Psychiatrist mentioned something the other day about not being magic (though I might disagree) but that she just takes the things that we say and says it back to us. Sometimes in a little different framing and sometimes that is all that it takes.

Now, here is the thing.

I have been TRYING to lose weight off and on since my son was born. He’s three and a half now, and I believe I am heavier now than a month after he was born.

It might have to do with postpartum, anxiety, car accidents, concussion, medication and many other things. Actually I am sure that it does. But I also have learned that sometimes things don’t change because we need to do the work.

I’m not talking about doing the work to lose weight like eating clean, smaller portions and moving more. I have done all that. I did things that have always worked for me in the past, like weight watchers, beachbody, fast metabolism, clean eating, junk food cleanses. And nothing. No change. And I’m not saying I ate well for two days. I mean MONTHS, and no change.

I started running (and ran 4-5 times a week for a month or more) and still, no change…. In fact, I have gained MORE weight.

Yes, stress and hormones and fight or flight responses are in effect, but I actually feel like I am supposed to be learning something in this. Alex laughs because I always feel like their is a meaning behind the things that happen or why they happen. But it’s how I feel things, it’s how God has spoken to my heart many times in the past.

What if I can’t lose weight until I accept the fact that I am beautiful even if I’m obese. (yes obese is the weight class that I am currently in. You can all simmer down, I’m not body shaming myself this is just the real deal)

What if I can’t lose weight until I accept the fact that I am LOVED regardless of my size ?

That I MATTER even if my jeans are tight or I have a muffin top.

That the NUMBER ON THE SCALE doesn’t make me better or worse, a success or a failure.

It is in NO WAY related to my worth.

Woah.

That’s big stuff.

And how do I get there? How to I truly start to believe that I matter. BIG FAT PERIOD. Not IF I lose weight or IF I get stuff done. RIGHT NOW I matter! Right now YOU matter.

I do the healthy things. And I do the work. I treat myself like I matter right now, at the heaviest I have ever been outside of pregnancy. How do I show myself I matter? How do I grab hold of this? Here are five practical thoughts/actions I have taken to let myself believe I matter.

Use my faith.

Wow that sounds selfish. But my faith is a huge tool in my toolbox that I don’t always remember to hold onto. The fact that I am here is enough to mean that I matter. That God created me, formed me, and has brought me to the here and now. Pretty incredible. Especially when I think about my kids, and the moment they were born, actually from the moment that I knew that they were inside me and how much they mattered and how LOVED they were.

Photographic reminders.

I LOVE photographs. And though they are not always an accurate representation of what I look like (or maybe they are) but more importantly they are reminding me of the things and the people that matter. Fun times. Events. Moments. Hugs. The pictures remind me that I matter to the people in my life.

Anchor.

I am going to do a post about this soon, but finding songs, quotes, verses, words, anything that makes me feel stronger. That reminds me that I matter. Good stuff. Hold onto those things, post them, share them, place them on my desk!

Celebrate success.

The little things. Accomplishing a goal, making a connection, helping someone. Take note of the good things I do. The good things that happen.

Take time to do things I love.

When I am being creative, getting outside, spending quality time with my munchkins… I don’t have the time to really think about not mattering. It ends up just being about those things I am doing and creating.

Do you have any tips or tricks that help you in your journey? I’d love to hear them!